"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
