She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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