I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Randomize
