Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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