i think my tv is drunk
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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