the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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