VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
