I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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