i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
