he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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