that's an acceptable place to lick
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
