Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
