There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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