The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
