marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
