Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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