Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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