I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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