My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
