No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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