think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
