The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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