I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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