Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
