4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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