Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
