Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
