i barfeds in our rink
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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