sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
