why didn't you poke me back
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sobbing to NWA
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
