Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she smelled like a LAN party
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize