Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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