don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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