It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
