That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
