We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
