Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
