So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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