Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
