The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
