she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
