I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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