I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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