At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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