Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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