you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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