Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
