Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The ass gains better be worth it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
