just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
