He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
