if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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