is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
