someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We were destined to go to rehab together
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
