pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
