the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
