Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize