I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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