he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
