Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
