Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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