Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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